One day you will find yourself in a work environment. You will want to present yourself in the best way you know how. I want to help you learn how to do that.
Let’s start with conversations. It is appropriate to talk to your family and close friends about almost anything.
When it comes to acquaintances or people you don’t know very well, you will want to avoid awkwardness or embarrassment.
Here are some things to consider off limits:
- Conflicts with other people
It might feel good in the moment to vent about someone who irritates you but gossip mostly makes you look immature.
People start to wonder if you talk about them behind their back, too.
If it gets back to the person (and it will), it can also turn a small disagreement into a big deal.
If you need to vent, call your friends outside of school. - Money
Talking casually about your spending habits can make others feel resentful, especially those with heavier financial obligations. - Partying
People don’t necessarily want to hear the gory details of your debaucherous weekend, no matter how fun it was for you.
Whatever your preferences are when it comes to your leisure time, in most cases you don’t need to lie about it.
Think in terms of translating it into a school-friendly story.
“My weekend was craaaaazy. I went out and got absolutely trashed on Friday and I didn’t get home until Sunday evening. I think I lost my keys! Hahaha! Wild!”
For instance, the comment above could be translated into “I had a really fun weekend! I went out with some friends and had a great time on Friday.”
Both use the same basic facts to tell a very different story.
- Health Problems
This can be different if it’s someone you’re close to, but stay away from discussing it in general group settings or with people you don’t know well.
Someone talking at length about their health concerns has to be one of the most boring, self-centered TMIs you can sit through, especially if it’s a favorite topic of theirs.
“My doctor says I have leaky gut, and it’s probably linked to my joint inflammation. I’m so bloated right now! After my last trip to the specialist, my health insurance said…”
I once went on a travel tour and one of the other travelers – who I had never met before – thought that her food intolerances would be a fun topic to discuss with me at length, and on repeated occasions. They were not.
I avoided her for the rest of the trip.
Nobody wants to know about your toes, ear infection, medication, or assortment of allergies. Keep it to yourself at school, unless specifically asked about it, or unless you need to disclose it to a guidance counselor or therapist.
- Religion
Whether you’re a staunch atheist or devoutly religious, that’s your business. Likewise, other people’s religious beliefs aren’t great small talk fodder.
- Jokes at anyone’s expense
Punching down is on par with gossiping.
Sure, it might feel good at the time, but chances are someone will pass it along or overhear it.
All of a sudden you’ve really hurt someone’s feelings.
Everyone deserves to be respected at school.
Imagine if someone did it to you. How would you feel?
“Oh yeah, hanging out with Bruce is about as fun as a poke in the eye with a hot stick. Nah nah, Bruh I’m only joking buddy! Don’t get all twisted up about it!”
This is also a really dangerous one. A sarcastic joke could be interpreted the way you didn’t intend, and all of a sudden you’re in the middle of a disciplinary hearing for inappropriate behavior.
Best to stay away altogether.
- Physical Appearance
Weight, skin, or hair.
“Wow, you’ve lost weight and your acne is totally clearing up! You look great.”
Making comments about people’s weight is damaging, not just to the person but also potentially anybody.
A drastic hair cut, weight loss, or appearance in skin might be caused by a medical condition they are sensitive about. Wait for them to bring it up.
You would never want to come across as diminishing someone’s worth as a person, based only on their appearance.
This sort of talk tacitly reinforces cultural beauty standards, which are impossibly narrow and lead to lots of physical and psychological problems.
Ten Topics That Work
- Sports Discussing the outcome of last night’s game and great plays is always a safe subject.
- Weather You can’t go wrong here. In Florida, there is always something to talk about.
- TV Shows and Movies This is a great topic for good discussions with people you know pretty well that have similar taste.
- News This can be difficult if you get into politics, but if you are quoting a recent news story or article you just read, it can lead to some interesting discussions.
- Food Likes, dislikes, recipes, restaurants, etc.
- Topics covered in lessons Sharing opinions on lessons from class often leads to a better understanding of the material. Sharing and copying of homework is not a good thing.
- Excellent Clothing Items Compliments on clothing is not the same as commenting on personal appearance. Stick to clothes and you will not offend.
- Books Many people love to read but are searching for the next good thing to read. Books you already have in common makes for great discussions.
- Travel Where you have been, where you wish to go, where you are originally from. This can be over-done if you always lead with “When I lived in _____…”
- Ask Questions of others. Where are you from originally? Do you have brothers or sisters? What’s your story? The key here is sincerity. Don’t ask if you don’t want to listen to the response.